Divorce The Great Divide
One day your life just takes a completely different turn. One partner
doesn’t want to work on the marriage anymore. They bail. Give up for
whatever reason. Stop pretending you didn’t know it was a possibility
that your marriage could end in divorce. Statistics don’t lie. It
won’t happen to our love should be replaced with, it could happen to
our love.
Here are 7 things I’ve learned about divorce.
1. You become strangers quicker than you thought possible and
everything you thought you knew about the other person was a lie.
Your best friend becomes your enemy. Pulling in the driveway feels
uncomfortable so you park on the street.
The person you slept beside is no longer allowed off the mat in your
entranceway.
2. You can’t control how your ex handles the divorce. Why can’t we
be friends? Because it doesn’t work that way. How was your day is a
loaded question now. If you think you can erase a life you had with
someone by flipping a switch you’re in for a wakeup call.
3. Hurt people hurt people. Divorce brings out the worst in people.
You want everything to work for your schedule, your vacation, your
view of the kids best interests. Control freaks are the worst.
4. Ex-spouses demonize the other person and stay stuck for
years in their victim stories. Other people shoulder all the blame
themselves. Both are self destructive. There are 3 sides to every
story. Yours, theirs and the truth.
5. A rebound relationship only makes your divorce more difficult. If
you’re entangled with some other person during a break up just know
that it will not improve your chances of a clean divorce. How could
it? It prolongs the suffering and prevents any healing conversations
that could benefit both parties from taking place. It’s never a good
idea but we do it all the time.
6. The money makes it ugly. The more at stake - the uglier it gets.
I want what I want and you don’t get any. We become selfish and
vindictive. The lawyers are the only ones who benefit from a good
battle. We say it’s all about the kids but it’s not. There isn’t a
guy on earth that likes writing those cheques.
7. Divorce sucks for everyone who knew the once “happy couple.” We
hold family members hostage and suddenly they have to swear
allegiance. They have to pick but they don’t want to pick. Your kids
become hyper sensitive to your feelings too. They overhear
conversations and get information from sources other than yourself.
The divorce becomes the elephant in the room.
Your divorce is going to be a rollercoaster ride. One day a fresh
start the next day the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
You’ll get through it. A good attitude will help tremendously.
doesn’t want to work on the marriage anymore. They bail. Give up for
whatever reason. Stop pretending you didn’t know it was a possibility
that your marriage could end in divorce. Statistics don’t lie. It
won’t happen to our love should be replaced with, it could happen to
our love.
Here are 7 things I’ve learned about divorce.
1. You become strangers quicker than you thought possible and
everything you thought you knew about the other person was a lie.
Your best friend becomes your enemy. Pulling in the driveway feels
uncomfortable so you park on the street.
The person you slept beside is no longer allowed off the mat in your
entranceway.
2. You can’t control how your ex handles the divorce. Why can’t we
be friends? Because it doesn’t work that way. How was your day is a
loaded question now. If you think you can erase a life you had with
someone by flipping a switch you’re in for a wakeup call.
3. Hurt people hurt people. Divorce brings out the worst in people.
You want everything to work for your schedule, your vacation, your
view of the kids best interests. Control freaks are the worst.
4. Ex-spouses demonize the other person and stay stuck for
years in their victim stories. Other people shoulder all the blame
themselves. Both are self destructive. There are 3 sides to every
story. Yours, theirs and the truth.
5. A rebound relationship only makes your divorce more difficult. If
you’re entangled with some other person during a break up just know
that it will not improve your chances of a clean divorce. How could
it? It prolongs the suffering and prevents any healing conversations
that could benefit both parties from taking place. It’s never a good
idea but we do it all the time.
6. The money makes it ugly. The more at stake - the uglier it gets.
I want what I want and you don’t get any. We become selfish and
vindictive. The lawyers are the only ones who benefit from a good
battle. We say it’s all about the kids but it’s not. There isn’t a
guy on earth that likes writing those cheques.
7. Divorce sucks for everyone who knew the once “happy couple.” We
hold family members hostage and suddenly they have to swear
allegiance. They have to pick but they don’t want to pick. Your kids
become hyper sensitive to your feelings too. They overhear
conversations and get information from sources other than yourself.
The divorce becomes the elephant in the room.
Your divorce is going to be a rollercoaster ride. One day a fresh
start the next day the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
You’ll get through it. A good attitude will help tremendously.