"How not to let others boil your emotions."

Here are some points to remember when you're faced with a new circumstances or less than desirable people or difficult situations you'd typically not choose to have:


Don't react quickly Listen to your intuition-what does your gut tell you to do? How easy it is for us to fall into the trap of reacting every time something happens, either to us, or someone we're close to. We feel we have to step in, fix, give advice or just have a say. My better judgement tells me that if I haven't spent time digesting the information, then it's just a reaction. You aren't really tapped in. When you can breathe deeply and come to a point of stillness and sustain your inner cool and calm you're better equipped. Stress thinks everything is an emergency. The quicker it's resolve the quicker I can move on to the next mess. Give yourself time to digest the information. Don't jump. See if your involvement will actually help or hinder the outcome. Nature never hurrys yet everything is accomplished. Lao Tzu


The goal is to feel good-make sure that every decision you make passes this test. If I do this, will it make me feel good? If I say this, will I feel good? I believe that's the goal - TO FEEL GOOD. That's why we're here! To experience as much goodness and joy as humanly possible. It makes no sense to me to do something when I'm not really up for it. I said to me husband the other day, I rarely do anything I don't want to do. I set up my life like this. He said, aren't you lucky. I feel lucky! That's my philosophy. When we feel good, others will feel good too. We teach others by what we do, far more then what we say.

Turn all of your experiences in to opportunities.-opportunities are presented to us each day through experience. Opportunities to grow and learn. Opportunities to build strength and overcome adversity. Opportunities to practice faith and forgiveness. Opportunities to develop more courage, have more friends and eliminate enemies. When you're willing to see that everything happens to you for a particular reason you can use those experiences as learning opportunities. God specializes in new beginnings. We can choose a powerful interpretations for every one one our experiences.
For example: we can say,
Karen flew off the handle at me: which gives me an opportunity to be more compassionate and understanding of people's moods.
Tim broke up with me today which gives me an opportunity to dig deep within myself and discover my innate well being and develop my muscle of self-love.
I'm feeling really depressed today which gives me the opportunity to learn to be graceful when I'm in a low mood.
I was really mean to my spouse last night which gives me an opportunity to learn to apologize without making excuses for my behaviour.

Give up your need for approval-It would be nice if people approved of everything you did-but it's certainly not a requirement. The less we are focused on what others think, the more we can focus on what we think-which is far more important to our happiness- It's our life and what a relief to understand that no one can tell you how to live it. Life is too short to be living someone else's. Be your own person. Think your own thoughts and live your own life. The most important lesson I've learned in all my years of working and reading and writing self development is this: When you love yourself, Life will love you right back. When you love your self, you will attract loving people and loving circumstances. It works everytime, with every person. The greatest gift you can give to yourself is self-love. We teach others how to treat us. We teach others by what we do far more then what we say.


Remembering that you are the listener and not the noise. What goes on around you cannot hurt you unless you give it a voice. Unless you live in the story by wallowing in it or dramatizing it. I can think of far better things to do with my valuable time and far more productive ways to improve the quality of my experiences.

love and warmth,

Carrie