How to transform the dysfunction of your past and thrive in the future

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I think we all have a story. A drama or some dysfunction from our past that we'd like to move away from. For me, I've had dysfunction everywhere in my past. My childhood, a workplace, friendships, a marriage. I wanted to move on and work through it all so that I could come out on the other side of it rather than live in it and stay stuck in patterns and behaviours that weren't supporting me to become my highest expression. So I did and I continue to do so.
Here are 3 ideas that I have used passionately to create a happy and joyful life and move away from my stories of my dysfunctional past.

1. Conscious Living
2. Deliberate Intention
3. Silent Retreat

1. Conscious Living: This basically means that you know what's important to you. You have a list of values. This list may change frequently at different stages or they may never change. What's important is that they are your values. Not your family's or your neighbours or your bosses.

You are conscious of your daily habits. You know what depletes your energy and sucks you dry and you also know what nurtures you and fills you up. You tweek your life by giving up the habits that no longer serve your best interests and develop some new habits that breath life into you.

Journalling is a brilliant idea to have more clarity in your life. Write down your feelings and enjoyable activities; your passions, interests, anger, pain. You are expressing yourself on the pages of your journal and by doing so are gaining clarity, wisdom and truth. Never again will you have to say I don't know what I want or how I feel which is just a cop out anyway. Even if you never express them to anyone else.... conscious living means you know exactly who you are, how you feel and what you want. Invest the time to uncover your own truths.

2. Deliberate Intention: I believe we are creators of our life. We have to be. Because if we aren't that would mean that we are victims of our circumstances and there is no power in being a victim. A victim is a place I call no mans land. Nothing good will ever come out of wallowing in something or hanging on to a hurt or a story from your past. Blaming and criticizing is a victim's excuse for not having a great life. Deliberate intention means you are setting goals for yourself. Daily, monthly or yearly goals. write them out. Affirmations Declaring positively that something is true. I love Deepak Chopra quote here "Within every desire is the mechanics of its fullfillment" I am a huge fan of the Law of Attraction which works like this ...You will get whatever you give your energy attention and focus to. Your life will become that which you think about and believe to be true. Write out those goals and affirmations them and keep it handy.

Creating thoughts that are constructive, powerful and positive isn't just a nicer more effective way to be. You are deliberately creating the thoughts that are congruent with exactly what you want your life to look like. Keep your thoughts pure, pleasing, kind and supportive.

3. Silent Retreat: Many people lead hustle bustle lives. Our heads are going a mile a minute. I see it and so do you. In the car, at the grocery store, the doctors office, the mall, at the coffee shop. Even in our own life we have a cazillion things we have to do. We have parenting or family responsibilities, job and money concerns, health issues, relationship challenges and other concerns. Our minds are on overdrive. Many eat, drink, smoke, take pills or just hit a wall and collapse. The noisiness of our external world stops us from ever connecting with our authentic selves.

Taking the time for relaxation, meditation or just quiet reflection is the most important activity of the day. It sounds so simple and yet many find it very difficult and won't even try it. Sit alone for 10 minutes without engaging any of your thoughts-just notice them and let them pass. Focus on your breathing. Connect with your sense of well being. Find that place inside of you. The place that has all your answers.

Opening up my mind to a life that is rich and full and delicious is following these 3 guidelines everyday.

1. Conscious living-knowing who I am, what I want and where I'm going. What my values are and what habits I'm engaged in that either support me or deplete me.

2. Deliberate intention-I have goals and affirmations that support the kind of life and the person I intend to be. My thoughts, attitude and my actions are in line with where I am going and what I am creating.

3. Silent retreat-I take the time every single day to quiet my mind and just be with ""what is"". I come out with beautiful feelings and I'm more centered and calm.

What I have learned about transforming the dysfunction of your past is that when you are willing to let go of something and stop clinging to it, it just falls away.

with Peace and Love,
Carrie

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