Addictions

I'm going to tell you what I know about Addiction. But first a story. Last night I went out to a restaurant after a meeting with some friends. Again, there was enough junk food on the table to sink a ship. I gobbled up my mushroom caps, took a potato skin from Stephen and tried one of Shelley's cheese sticks. I was full and they were good. (Half price too) At the time it never dawn on me that I shouldn't be eating this late at night, the mushrooms I ordered were deep fried in grease that could clog my arteries and kill me one day, or how crappy I was going to feel this morning when I woke up. Nope! Never crossed my mind. It's only today that I'm self loathing about it. "Why am I eating so much?" "I'm going to be a beach ball if I don't stop." "I must set up some new rules for myself about food and I'm definately doing Pilates today"

What I know about addiction is that it progresses. It steps up a notch and jumps into the drivers seat and starts running your life. You don't really notice it too much until that happens. You think it's just a habit. A few drinks here and there and then a few more; then everyday and then you can't stop. Addiction is when you have lost the ability to choose. When one is too many and 5 million isn't enough. Addiction has many flavours. Smoking, drugs, pills, food, drinking, shopping, gambling, sex, etc.

There are millions of addicts that haven't figured it out yet. Denial (Don't even notice I am lying) I have a huge family history of addicts. I am an addict. It's a personality trait. I'm obsessive and can't stop doing things just because they are bad for me. It's a social issue as well-your kids are watching everything you do and will do it too. You are also predisposed if genetics are involved. It doesn't mean the child raised by an alcoholic parent is going to be an alcoholic. It just means there is a greater chance of it.

I quit smoking, drinking and doing drugs years ago. Why? Well definately for health reasons and because I am raising 3 kids and wanted to set a good example for them. But mostly it was because of my own sense of well being. I didn't like the way it started to run my life. I wanted to become better at dealing with life's curveballs rather than running away from them all the time. When difficult feelings and strong emotions were involved I didn't want to stifle them. I wanted to be able to process them without numbing myself. To basically deal with life head on. I didn't know if I could do it, but I knew I wanted to try.

If you feel there is something going on in your life that has suddenly started taking over. Consider asking yourself these questions:

1. What is this going to look like 10 years from now?
2. What steps could I take today to begin to elminate this from my life?
3. Who can I reach out to for help?

Back to the food.

1. In 10 years if I keep eating like this, I'm going to have serious health issues and I won't be able to play tennis or wear my bikini and I will hate the way I look.

2. Set up Boundaries: I'm not going to eat past 7:00pm. I'm going to buy healthy snacks to munch on and I'm not going out to Bernie's on Tuesday's after meetings anymore.

3. My sister. My husband.

Admitting we have addiction issues is a strong and powerful action. It's a catalyst for living a rich full and delicious life.

“Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself and yourself alone one question. This question is one that only a very old man asks. My benefactor told me about it once when I was young and my blood was too vigorous for me to understand it. Now I do understand it. I will tell you what it is: Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good. If it doesn’t it is of no use.”
--Carlos Castaneda

With warmth and love,
Carrie